suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
