He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
