If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
