Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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