I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
