Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
