used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If I die, sorry about rent.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
