We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
