There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
