Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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