feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
