and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
