I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
