I think I just saw someone hide a body.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Threesome in a minivan. New low
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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