i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
