I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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