Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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