you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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