do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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