She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Randomize
