so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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