Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
