I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
