Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
