its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
