I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
