Betty ford says i'm here all night
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
