Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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