Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
