Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
