You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
