So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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