Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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