Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
