if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
