He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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