i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize