forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
