its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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