And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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