She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
