a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I lost the right to judge tonight
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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