You made me cry and you don't even care
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
this hospital has no fireball
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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