They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
