So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
