So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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