I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
