Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
