I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
