someone owes me an orgasm
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
