i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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