I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
