dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
