Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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