I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize