i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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