Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
