Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
