doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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