Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
