I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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