sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
